Eight Legged Freaks - Part 1

Yeah... I stole the title from that terrible movie... terrible terrible movie.
Moving on...


If you know me personally you know my irrational fear of spiders.  I have recently come to be able to kill the small ones... when I absolutely have to, but those big ones... no no no.
Yesterday I saw two small red spiders in my bathroom.  First was in the morning while I was about to step into the shower.  I promptly called the hubby in to get it.  Then I get home from work and go in there to do my business, low and behold... there is another hanging from the shower door.  Two things go through my mind.  First:  Did the hubby actually get that first one?  Or did it scurry away and he just told me he did.  Second:  Omg we have an infestation and I must call the Orkin guy asap.
Of course I can't get it while its alive.  I don't have any bug spray... so I grab the next best thing.  Hairspray.  I sprayed him down... probably over did it just a tiny bit.  Then while he was suffocating and stuck to the shower door I un wound half a roll of toilet paper - just to be sure I didn't touch it in anyway possible - got the spider and promptly flushed it.  Now I could relax... unless there was more... what if one crawled on me while I slept... what if tonight is one of the nights I eat one of the average of 13 spiders you eat in your life while you sleep?


These eight legged freaks dictate my life sometimes...
I walk into every room and do the spider check, not obnoxiously, but just casually scan the room walls, ceilings and dark places for presence of spiders.
I don't move things outside or in the garage for fear of a spider being under it.
If I leave for work early or come home late (I have odd hours) I walk onto my front porch with my jacket in front of my face so I wont walk through a spider web and have it on me.  I HATE that feeling.  Every time I walk through a spider web I immediately turn into a ninja fighting an invisible villain (imagine crazy flailing and such).  While I was young I only had a few encounters with spiders, but as soon as I met my husband they seemed to increase... its like he likes them... or they like him O_o.  But really I know it was just because I was used to living in a rural area where bugs and such are kept under control.  When we got together we lived out in the middle of nowhere.


So last night I of course had to Google and find out what kind of spider it was.  I am convinced all spiders are poisonous and will bite me or my kids in our sleep.
I am searching the pics and trying to find the one that looks similar, a feat that took a long time for me to do without freaking out.  My arachnophobia was so bad I couldn't even look at pictures of them on the computer screen without my pulse jumping up a few notches.  I am still squeamish... but at least I can do that now.


I come across a few pest control sites that pretty much all say the same thing.  But then I come across this blog.  First of all her post about her spider encounter was effing hilarious and I almost woke my husband up I was laughing so hard.  But it was one particular comment that made me go... w. t. f.

(link lost - boohoo!)



Wow... she had pet wood spiders?  Ugh, I just shuddered at the thought of that.  Those things are creepy, and they move 100 miles an hour.  Not really, its more like 1.7 feet per second... per SECOND!
She actually buried the spider... are you freaking kidding me?!


Hey if you love spiders then you can have them all.  I just can't do it.  They. Must. Die.
Spider spray, shoes, hairspray and a lighter, shotgun... whatever means possible.


Although I do like the web-controlling mini-bot idea from NotThatGreg... maybe someone could build me one of those.